you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
