You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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