I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
