wakey wakey hands off snakey
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
