Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
