Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize