Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
