i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize