I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
