Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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