My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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