I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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