He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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