No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
a search helicopter?!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
