i jhust puked up my retainher.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize