I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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