Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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