Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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