at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm bleeding and have questions
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
