what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize