I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
