All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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