I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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