Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
