he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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