Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
