Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize