You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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