If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You ruined the universe
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
