I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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