i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
