You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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