Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We are all done wearing pants today
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize