is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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