We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
This house was built for laser tag.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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