Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
