whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
