God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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