We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
