): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
