Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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