i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
