ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The Olympian is in my bed
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
