I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize