Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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