Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
