So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize