Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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