But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize