She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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