why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
too bad you live with your parents still
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
