I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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