no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
