Will you blow on my dice?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize