All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
