Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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