After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
